Electric Kangaroo

This spins Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue" from world hunger to climate change and marsupial bouncyness.  

Boing!  Boing!

Out in the streets there is idlings
And-and the cars spew filth to the sky
I breathe the haze of pollution
And-and I don't choose to be that kind

Oh-no, I'm gonna hop onto electric kangaroo
Robotic hops are higher
Oh, I'm gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Fracking can not be the answer
Then another way there must be
They'll sell our health to break the earth
Hills will soon be empty

Get on, we gotta hop onto electric kangaroo
Robotic hops are higher
Oh, we gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Oh no.  Oh no.  Oh no.  Let's go

Come on, we gotta hop onto electric kangaroo
Nobody hops it higher
Oh, we gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Who is to change global warming
No it can't be only one
Think of the young generation
Who will know the new heat of the sun

Get on, we gotta hop onto electric kangaroo
Robotic hops are higher
Let's go, we gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Go, bounce in the street
Bounce in the street
Bounce by the red lights
Bounce to new heights

Oh, we gotta hop onto electric kangaroo
Robotic hops are higher
Oh, we gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Bounce in the street
Bounce in the street
Bounce by the gridlock
'Til that smog's not around

So we gotta hop onto electric kangaroo
Nobody hops it higher
Hey, we gonna hop on through, electric kangaroo
There's magic in the wires

Oh yeah
Hop on to the future
Hop on past the past
Take fossils from the gas can
Put them in museums, you see em

Your Shoes

This spins Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" into a song about stinky feet.

Your shoes radiate a fashion sense
With a style that is in command
But something else about them eminates
And I tell you it is not as grand
Those crusty socks with sweaty stains
Concealed within your shoes
And wrinkled noses, troubled faces
These reveal the truth

They can smell a foul odor
They can smell a foot odor, people
Your feet have a foul odor
They can smell your foot odor people, ooh

Shoes are made for germs to incubate
Those germs proliferate in sweaty swill
Your shoes are the shoes they populate
Get funky with their fungi buddies smell
For there's caked feet, crowded, jammy toes
All stinking in your shoes
And if you think the smell will blow away
Here's one quick tip for you

They can smell a foul odor
They can smell your foot odor, people
They can smell that foul odor
They can smell your foot odor people
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
Stinking and a reeking and a
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
They don't want to smell it and a

They can smell a foul odor
They can smell your foot odor, people
They can smell that foul odor
They can smell your foot odor people
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
They don't want to smell that foot odor
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
Stinking and a reeking and a oh P.U.
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
I don't want to smell that foot odor
Foul odor. Foot odor. Your odor.
It's your foot odor.  Unh.

Your shoes. Your shoes.

Bulk Cereal

This takes "Carousel" by Melanie Martinez and crosses it with the joy of cereal marshmallows, a distaste for cereal kibble, and the dangers inherent in hanging around with people who pick out all the yummy marshmallows.

By the pound you can buy this bulk cereal, let's go
Buy enough of this stuff, it gets really cheap, I know
Picking it all through for the marshmallows, good times
Sweets I am finding inside of this cereal

Come, come and I'll show
You might want to know
The fluf-fy feel of a marshmallow

Oh, come take my hand
To the register stand
To buy, to try, this bulk cereal

And it's all yummy things
'Til the marshmallows all run low
But you still got a lot of kibble
And there's no sugar snacks now

By the pound you can buy this bulk cereal, let's go
Buy enough of this stuff, it gets really cheap, I know
Picking it all through for the marshmallows, good times
Sweets I am finding inside of this cereal

The source you should know
With food dyes rainbows
Fructose, fructose, we can eat those

Right, right when I'm near
It's like they disappear
What do you know?  We're down to kibble, you can eat those

And it's all yummy things
'Til the marshmallows all run low
But you still got a lot of kibble
And there's no sugar snacks now

By the pound you can buy this bulk cereal, let's go
Buy enough of this stuff, it gets really cheap, I know
Picking it all through for the marshmallows, good times
Sweets I am finding inside of this cereal

What kind of meal, these crusty kibble parts
Could feed my cat but it might barf
And now I'm stuck, I'm stuck
Buying, buying, buying

By the pound you can buy this bulk cereal, let's go
Buy enough of this stuff, it gets really cheap, I know
Picking it all through for the marshmallows, good times
Sweets I am finding inside of this cereal

I'll Probably Pee

This takes Sting's "It's Probably Me" in a more canine direction.

If the latch is loose and the cold winds howl
And the gate swings open and there ain't no one around
Then I'll slip outside down the twisty roads
Go sniffing every tree
You ask yourself, who'll walk with me
To guide my way, who could it be
I have to say that
To find my way that I'll probably pee

When I'm smelling something with a meaty appeal
And I tip down the can, and root for my meal
And I take the bone, and I bury it
Where nobody can see
Ask yourself, what guarantee
Could indicate a place, retrace my way for me
There's no mistaking
I'll lift my leg and I'll probably pee

It's not the easiest situation to navigate these roads
And this frequent urination sure takes bladder control
Summer's day, I should quench my thirst away
Sun'll surely run me dry
But if there's one hydrant, just one hydrant
That no hound in sighting would deny
Make no mistake that
I'll lift my leg and I'll probably pee

When a squirrel's tail twitchy on a side yard fence
I bark to defend my canine dominance
And I let a howl, and from beside a house
Some guy throws his newspaper at me
So I pick it up, and I run away
I won't return it
That's not how I play these fetchy games
And where I take it
I have to say that, I'll probably pee

I do my business in the business section
Leave a sophisticated scent in the classifieds
Even put a special interest piece in the local pages

I have to say that
You know this stray dog
Won't hesitate long
To lift a leg and
There's no mistaking
I'll lift that leg and
I'll probably pee

Wait for it

'Cause if there's just three drops in the dusty reservoir
No parched Saraha could still this oceans tidal roar
I'll shake my leg and
I'll shake my leg and
I'll shake my leg and
I'll shake my leg and
I'll shake my leg and
I'll shake my leg and I'll probably pee

Beware the Butter

This takes "All That She Wants" by Ace of Base and spins it into a cautionary tale of a supernatural butter spirit.

She needs the butter life
She feeds the butter life

Well she hates to wait in a margerine tub
And she moans when she's in one
She likes the warmth of a waffle iron
That's where she's going
To work a quick enchantment
Slip a slick spell on your tongue
With just one bit of butter and you're done
She's going to get you

All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
She's on your waffle now
All that she haunts is the butter, waiting, yeah
All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
You've got a mouthful now
All that she haunts is the butter, melting away

All that she haunts
All that she haunts

So if you think you might like a crunchy bite
Of some buttered battered prawns
Its butter charms she works on you
You must remember
Your doctor warned of trans-fats
With their paranormal ties
Beware the butter baked into your pie
She's going to get you

All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
She's on your waffle now
All that she haunts is the butter, waiting, yeah
All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
You've got a mouthful now
All that she haunts is the butter, melting away

Dainty Bugs

This takes Soft Cell's "Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go" and spins it to a fashion designer's unrequited love for an entomologist.

Sometimes I find, it seems
You've got bugs on your mind, you see
I need to find a way to break
The scientific grip of entomology
At bugs you stare
I need to show I care
And although I try
Between ticks and mites, I can't catch your eyes
Bugs!  What can I do? (I can)
Here's a plan for you
I'll dress these bugs I'm giving
In lace and bows they're oh so pretty
Make bugs fancy, presto and they're all
Dainty bugs
(whoa-o-o-o) Dainty bugs

Now I know I've got these
Bugs to paint, I've got to decorate
All these itty bugs in your treasury
Sometimes I try
But these words won't come out right
But now I think I found a way
'Cause I made your bug a bug toupee

Bugs feet can do shoes
But plain shoes won't do
I'll sprinkle glue and glitter
To sparkle up your bugs new slippers
Make bugs fancy, presto and they're all
Dainty bugs
(whoa-o-o-o) Dainty bugs

Those bugs need these
I give you fashionista fleas
Your bugs would glow in dainty clothes
Now I'm gonna pick my threads and sew
Dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o), dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o)
Dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o), dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o)
Plush antennae, dainty bugs
Plush antennae, dainty bugs

Baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Let me weave you some more
I've got these glittered knitted sweaters fitted for brine fleas
Those lucky brine fleas
Echinoderms are sad
Blue suede hats fit your flies, so snazzily
Those are dapper bugs
Take it from me
And now I found around here, some centipedes
You know I believe, I need some more sleeves

Oh baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Let me weave you some more
Oh baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Don't you really adore

Lippy Doo

This spins the traditional standard "Diga Diga Doo" into and ode to mustaches and people who have or haven't grown them.

Charlie Chaplin, Fu Manchu
Facial hair is what they do
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Hulk Hogan and Einstein too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Try a hairy, get a lippy doo creation
But if you trim a get a lippy doo too straight
You're gonna look like Hitler

So, wax it classic barkeep style
Or flash your Errol Flynn profile
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Try a hairy, get a lippy doo creation
But if you trim a get a lippy doo too late
You're gonna look like Hagrid

So, sport it Colonel Mustard style
Or twirl a thin whip villian spiral
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Hairless lip, he feeling blue
Hey Shaggy pal of Scooby Doo
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Doctor Phil and Dali too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Hairless lips, they feeling blue
Honest Abe and Doctor Who
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Groucho Marx and Ghandi too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Get a lippy doo

Plural Abnormalities

This takes Goyte's "Somebody I Used to Know" and spins in into a guy's obsessions over word plurality inconsistencies and the scent of his own navel.

You can have a moose or a dozen moose it does not matter
Many moose or one moose is the same moose when it's said and done
But plural abnormalities
Mean more antlers in the mossy trees
And their swampy diet smells just like the lint inside my belly button

What can be deducted from this quirky lack of s's?
Like when a plane full of squid, still is the squid
So I guess they made that oxen end
When they found that foxes sound like this (bring ding ding da ding)
And the moose got gypped when they found that mice was taken

But I'll sniff it 'til the lint runs out
And if I scratch a bit in there then there's still this putty
Reminding me of the moose cud
When I breathe the belly oder well it smells like stuff
Now you didn't have to move the door
And your friends are making snickers, but I'm not a weirdo
I guess that I don't need lint though
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

Geese, mice, squidsheep and oxen in a room
Smell just like this putty from my belly button… ew

Now and then I think of all the kinds of plural endings
When you think about it well it really can seem kinda dumb
But it has always been that way
And what's the big deal anyway
Why don't you just let it go
And why do you sniff that putty that you picked out of your belly hole?

But I'll sniff it 'til the lint runs out
And if I scratch a bit in there then there's still this putty
Reminding me of the moose cud
When I breathe the belly odor well it smells like stuff
Now you didn't have to move the door
And your friends are making snickers but I'm not a weirdo
I guess that I don't need lint though
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

Some putty
My belly hole
Some putty
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Some putty
My belly hole
Some putty
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

My belly hole
From my belly hole
My belly hole
Some putty

Macrame Cow

This takes "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and crosses it with a craft teacher's change in lesson plans due to an incident involving cheese.

"Hi, this is Adora, leave a message at the beep."
<BEEP>

"Hello, Mrs. Bullhead.  This is Mr. Spackle, your son Bob's craft teacher.  I'm calling because your son has clogged my sink with cheese again.  You'll be receiving another call from the principal about detention or parent conferences or whatever.  My call is more about the cheese.  Bob doesn't like the cheese you are giving him, and I need my sink.  I understand the importance of calcium, but could you please try giving him milk, or yogurt, or a water soluble multivitamin instead?  Thank you."

How can I decide a craft to make
For this class of crafting things
I don't want to mess my hands with glue, with glue, ooh
Yeah that's only fun
When you can clean the glue off

How can I teach crafts without a sink?
When all I got is glue and messy things
Cause there's squished in cheddar down the drain
And cheese wax too, I fear
Yeah, glue's only fun when you can get the glue off

So make a macrame cow
See we have these crafting strings
This is not a day for tye-dying
When we haven't got a sink
So make a macrame cow
Put "moo" in twine captioning
And to make the back curvy
You just twist the knots
Yeah that's what it's gonna take

Oh, listen close and I will tell you how
Tell you now, here is my sage advice
You can twist a piece into a loop
To get these strings entwined
And glue's only fun when you can clean the glue off

So make a macrame cow
We'll weave with these crafting strings
Cause there ain't no paper mache decoupaging
When we haven't got a sink
Yeah, make a macrame cow
We'll use up these crafting strings

But to make this moo
Is all we can do
In the time we got today
Make your new macrame cow
These strings will bring stranding cheer
And to make this twine guernsey
Is to twist the knots
It's the craft we're gonna make

Make a macrame cow

Carry My Beans

This takes all of the reckless rage of "Wake Up Call" by Maroon 5 and refocuses it upon the supermarket stockboy.

And now I'm here at Super Savings
I get a cart that's rolling gimpy
I have some rice and cans of spray cheese
Around the turn to where the beans be
So what the hey's with out of place peas
Never shoulda played that game

If you stocked enough
I'd have bought enough
I'd have got enough
But I've not enough
And your stock is out
And you made it worse
And my temper's hot
So don't say a word

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos, so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas?  Well, I don't think so

Bean burrito woulda made me happy
You didn't need to tease me that way
And all these peas are all the same thing
And there's no beans being around me
And now I find you speaking clowny
Burritos out of luck and now

If you stocked enough
I'd have bought enough
I'd have got enough
But I've not enough
And your stock is out
And you made it worse
And my temper's hot
So don't say a word

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  Well, I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas
I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man

I'm so sorry watchman
Did I do the wrong thing?
Oh, what was I thinking?
Now he's all so cheesy

Woah ohh woah

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas?  I just cheese the man

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
No he won't joke about peas, I just cheese the man
I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man
I just cheese the man (Sold out store)
I just cheese the man (Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead)
I just cheese the man (Don't you carry my beans anymore?)
Carry my beans?  I don't think so
Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Carry my beans?  I just cheese the man

Sauteed Squirrels

This spins Pet Shop Boys "West End Girls" into a dog's day stuck in the house alone.

Sometimes you're feeling underfed
You're chewing on a sneaker and rolling in the bed
They say you're bad, too unstable
Sniffing the chairs and licking the tables
There's a red squirrel, out on the lawn
And on T.V. there's a chef-a-thon
Feed a yawn, breathe in deep
Then lay it down, to a dachshund's sleep

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

Use crunchy kibbles, dachshund advises
Cheeses and sauces, mystery spices
Fish, bugs, pie, bones
Doorknob turns, someone's home
Hang onto your keys, can we please, can we go for a walk and
Keep on your shoes, lets walk around the block, and
(A dog's gotta pee)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

(Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on)
(Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on)
(A dog's gotta pee)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

Well it gives you gas, those rawhide bones
Found the box, I'll eat me some
It tastes delicious, but there's the gas
Sore tummy, but eat some grass
A quickie fix-it, for situations
From diarrhea to the constipation
(I farted again)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels, sauteed squirrels, sauteed squirrels
(I farted again)

Don't Use All the Gravy

This takes "Don't You Want Me" by the Human League and recenters it upon a smorgasbord with some really yummy gravy.

I was eating mashed potatoes at the smorgasbord
When I met you
We talked a bit, we talked about the food on our plates
I turned you onto something new
Now every gravy day you've got to go there to eat
Those spuds are just so easy to chew
And now you got gravy you put wherever you like
Can you put down that gravy spoon?

Don't.  Don't use all the…
You know I cannot eat it when potatoes don't have gravy
Don't.  Don't use all the…
You know I can't believe it when I see where you put gravy

My mashed taters deprived
Of that gravy that's divine
But really why the heck would you put it on jello?

Don't use all the gravy
Don't use all the… Oh!
Don't use all the gravy
Don't use all the… Oh!

We were eating mashed potatoes at the smorgasbord
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better taste
Mixing this with that type food
The fine gravy I've had has been such a good kind
For topping food
But now I think I find it's what I like on jello
I guess it's just what I must do

Don't.  Don't use all the…
You know I cannot eat it when potatoes don't have gravy
Don't.  Don't use all the…
You know I can't believe it when I see where you put gravy

My mashed taters deprived
Of that gravy that's divine
And really why the heck do you put it on jello?

Don't use all the gravy
Don't use all the… Oh!
Don't use all the gravy
Don't use all the… Oh!

Hoodoo Feud

This spins Bon Jovi's "Livin on a Prayer" into a song about witchdoctor oneupsmanship.

Once upon a time, they knew the hoodoo feud

Tommy's got a voodoo doll
Twenty pointy pins
He pokes it a lot
For luck, bad luck

Gina twirls a chicken all day
She says it does the trick
Keeps bad mojo at bay
For luck, for luck

She says, the magic potion is in the pot
This mystic incantation has been chanted a lot
We'll keep the fire burning 'til it's hot
For luck, with hex and a pox

Oh, this hoodoo feud
Whoa, between me and you
Who's the better hoodoo, we'll know when we're thru
Oh, it's between me and you

Tommy's got a wart on his nose
In a touchy spot
Now it hurts when he blows
So tough, bad luck

Gina wears a shaggy toupee
When she tries to fit it tight on
She whispers
Maybe with Rogaine, someday

The magic potion is in the pot
This mystic incantation has been chanted a lot
Keep the fire burning 'til it's hot
For luck, with hex and a pox

Oh, this hoodoo feud
Whoa, between me and you
Who's the better hoodoo, we'll know when we're thru
Oh, it's between me and you
In a hoodoo feud

The magic potion is in the pot
You give it a light when the briquettes burn out
Oh, this voodoo feud
Whoa, between me and you
Who's the better hoodoo, we'll know when we're thru
Oh, it's between me and you

Geek

This spices Meridith Brooks "Bitch" with equal parts positive self-talk and hacker vengeance.

I got called a nerd today
I like being me
That makes it all O.K.
Tried to tell you
When you called me names like dorky
And a nerdy techno geek
But you meant it mean
Yes, I can decide
This - how I receive
Your words - they are unkind
I can make a stand, your words have been defused
I don't envy you
And your babble don't mean anything
Nerdy can be fun

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
Phreaked your phone and placed a call
Ordered take-out from Nepal
That fish smell, with green leeks
You'll get it in three weeks
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

What you don't understand
This is me, and I take pride in what I am
Rest assured that when you use the nerdy verbage
And you try to make it mean
The meanings rearrange
And your words won't mean a thing

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
You're a winner by the way
You rocked it on e-bay
You're the high bidding king
On every rectal cream
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

Just when you think, you got me, put me down
Your meanings all, "What the hey, man"
If being cool is being cool like you
Then nerdy's what I'll be

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
You like TV, but it ain't
The view you knew today
Your cable, it's been cleaned
Of every show you've seen
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

You've made friends overseas
With tip largess to Napalese
When you hurt, when you suffer
You've got cream to cure your butt hurts
I've had fun, I won't lie
You still get Nepal nine
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

Ice Cream for an Extraterrestrial

This takes the spacey metephors of addiction from "Dark Necessities" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and reaffirms similarities from the other direction.

Dropping down on the night LA
I got metamorph for a human face
So I'll be disguised in the ice cream aisle
To see what they have today

You and I both know
Everyone must go and pay
I hear dough's the way

Spinning off like a sad robot
With a rusty diode and an itchy spark
I complete an app at the Baker Shack
But I need to play the part

Take the test and go
Show gusto and go today
Here dough's the way, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind, and
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Window down to the parking lot
You got no time for the afterthought
And I slip a Slurpee to a guy named Bob
Well that's me looking for pee

Thank the thirsty man
Cup o' urine in my hand
Way in a jamb, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind, and
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Do you want this job of mine?
Doctors test this all the time
Do you want it? Do you want it now?

Do you want ice cream sublime?
'Cause ice cream comes in lots of kinds
Do you want it? Do you want it now?

I get a check from the Baker Shack
And I'm back checking out the ice cream rack
So I make a pick of a frozen snack
It's a crème brule sorbet

Any flavor cone
Everyone needs dough to pay
Here dough's the way, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Rice Shreddies

This spins Billy Idol's "White Wedding" into game of who can get the most slices of bacon.

Play morning twister, breakfast has come
Play morning twister, what could be more fun?
Play morning twister, how's your marzipan?
Play morning twister, could you pass the salt?
Play morning twister, got one!

It's a nice way to grab bacon (that or)
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon

Play morning twister, who wants some more grits?
Play morning twister, where's your egg sandwich?
Play morning twister, got one! (oh yeah)
Play morning twister, how's your marzipan?
Play morning twister, got one!

It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon <bacon crunch>

Pick it up
Take some hash browns and

Play morning twister, what's on your bun
Play morning twister, what could be more fun?
(Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon)
Hide it away, or so long (so long)
Hide it away, or so long (so long)
I got your bacon, so long

It's a nice way to grab bacon  (that or)
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon <bacon crunch>

There is nothing fair in this meal
There is nothing safe in this meal
And there's nothing square in this meal
And this game keeps going on until
When there's something left you can steal
Grab bacon  (that or)

It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies (yow)
It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to grab bacon

I Won't Eat Mush

This crosses "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz with the inherent undesirability of baby food.

Well it's like eating oatmeal
Without that oatmeal appeal
And you're trying your train deal
But that train deal's got old
And just like them old jars
Them old jars you've tried so far
You say here's the train car
You hold up your bowl

Well, I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush

And when you're having your plate
You chew food that looks so great, and
I'll be here patiently waiting
To eat food that kind

You're saying train cars, no deal
Say it's a plane, not a meal
Here comes a boat, just get real
I'm not gonna buy it
No, I won't eat mush

I don't wanna eat some gunky gobs of mush you feed to me
    and wear a bib and dribble icky mush all down my chin
That icky mush sure looks like snot, you say it's a choo choo
    but where's the tracks you got, yeah, I caught you, not a train
Hand me some bread, with butter spread, and berry jam instead
    there's just this muck, I'm gonna spin, I'm gonna squirm
I had to hold a tight lip grin to stop the spoon from slipping in
    I'll push the bowl, make it drop, and hear the plop of goo again

I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush, not eating mush

No, I won't eat up this mush (no I won't, eat that mush)
I'm onto your choo choo chugs (why eat mush, why eat mush)
You've got a lot of nerve (tell me why, eat up mush)
I'm onto your food fibs (they are food fibs)

I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush