lol brb

This spins S.O.B. by Nathaniel Rateliff into a song about Chinese food and it's ability to interrupt online conversation.

You order delivery?

Mmm mmm mmmm.  Mmm mmm mmmm.  Mmm mmm mm mm mm.

I'm gonna need some of that chow mein

I'm gonna need some battered meat

I'm gonna need some of that egg fu young

I'm gonna need a cookie too

I'm gonna celebrate an egg roll

I'll be chowing broccoli beef

I'm gonna swallow me some of that sweet moo shu, and nobody's gonna keep it from me

LOL

BRB

One more plate

That's what I need

LOL

I said OMG

I'm gonna eat my plate clean

Now been seventeen minutes, since my fork went down

Seventeen more, I'll starve, you'll see

These Asian noodles just won't fill me up

But I need some more of that MSG

LOL

BRB

One more plate

That's what I need

LOL

I said OMG

I'm gonna eat my plate clean

My belly's growling, my mouth is drooling, microwave is calling to me

My belly's growling, my mouth is drooling, microwave is calling to me

My belly's growling, my mouth is drooling, microwave is calling to me

My belly's growling, my mouth is drooling, microwave is calling to me

LOL

BRB

One more plate

That's what I need

LOL

I said OMG

I'm gonna eat my plate clean

LOL

BRB

One more plate

That's what I need

LOL

I said OMG

I'm gonna eat my plate clean

Do You Like Your Shoes?

This spins "Would I Lie to You" by the Eurythmics into a tale of elven career change.

Do you like your shoes?

Do you like your shoes, Buddy?

I'm a foot artist Mister, so tell me true

I'm asking you Buster

Do you li-i-ike your shoes?

I'm fine, at the shoe store

I'm not baking anymore

I've left that tree

That cookie dough

Now I got me

My shoe chateau

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Do you like your shoes?

Do you like your shoes, Buddy?

Elves don't do buckles, that fad has flew

I'm asking you Buster

Do you li-i-ike your shoes?

Don't make toys, for hairy geezer

That hammer noise,  s'not a pleaser

The North Pole is cold

Elf lips ain't blue

Yeah I got my goals

Now I'm making shoes

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Do you like your shoes?

Do you like your shoes, Buddy?

I'm a foot artist Mister, so tell me true

I'm asking you Buster

Do you li-i-ike your shoes?

Do you like your shoes?

Do you like your shoes, Buddy?

Elves don't do velcro, that fad has flew

I'm asking you Buster

Do you li-i-ike your shoes?

I'm fine, at the shoe store

Don't hang with hobbits anymore

Go fight your dragon

Your Tolkien war

I'm making sandals

Got orders out the door

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Suede feet, I'll make it, make it

Do you like your shoes?

Frogs Don't Wear Pajammies

Oh, frogs don't wear pajammies in the morning,

Morning jammies aren't their cup of tea,

The waistband's far too wide,

and the legs are far too long,

Jammies just don't fit their fannies properly.

Oh, frogs don't wear pajammies in the daytime,

That flannel's hot and itchy in the sun,

And when they hop and jump

on their lily pads and stumps,

Pajammies really aren't a lot of fun.

Oh, frogs don't wear pajammies in the morning,

In that way they are not like you and me,

And even in the night time,

when they have to pee,

Frogs don't wear pajammies don't you see!

Frogs don't wear pajammies on the schoolbus,

All the kids would laugh and point and stare,

            Not even for a million flies!

A frog wouldn't wear pajammies over there.

And when they're swimming in the pond,

Pajammies wouldn't last for long,

They'd get wet and limp and soggy,

Oh that poor pajammied froggy!

That's why frogs wear bathing suits.

Making a Deal

This crosses "Head Over Heels" by Tears For Fears with a used furniture salesman.

You walked into my furniture store

To get out of the weather

Faux Phoenician vases and stylin dining spaces

Could not catch your attention

You scrunch your eyebrows and you grimace your mouth

I see you have reservations

I'd like to sell you something, maybe you need a couch

You say the price is high

Oh it's just, just way too high

But it's a special and I'm making a deal

I must be crazy to be making a deal

I want this sale and now I'm making a deal

So I'll knock the price

And drop the price

Oh, it's, it's a special today

<Special today>

<Special today>

I'm on commission, but I'll throw it away

You know I have no ambition

Buy it now and I can, I can, toss in this lamp

<Special today>

It's. It's. It's.  A good proposition

The others in the break room think that I can not sell

<Subliminal ad>

It really is a downer

<You want this sofa>

It's hard to meet the plan when the quota's out of hand

<Cooshy cooshy comfy pillows>

Oh don't leave so

Cuz it's a special and I'm making a deal

I must be crazy to be making a deal

I want this sale and now I'm making a deal

So I'll knock the price

And drop the price

Oh, it's, it's a special today

This is a lovely sofa

Oh, what a find, and it reclines

This is my only sofa

<So fa so fa fa, so fa so fa fa>…

When a dime shines

One bargain tag, one bargain man

This is a good buy

Indian Casino

This crosses "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane with Native American reservations.

Hie yie yaya, hie yie yaya…

Our way of life - they took our land

To build their cities and their castles in the sand

Farewell to days of roaming free

All life adapts, you know this happens naturally

A fire ring, our spirit song

We have our reservations and a need to carry on

Oh, native man, or Indian

By any name these moccasins I'm walking in

I felt the loss of ancestry

I know their spirits are still living in me

Oh earth below, all paved and numb

I see smoke signals in the sky above

A fire ring, our spirit song

We have our reservations and a need to carry on

Oh, native man, or Indian

By any name these moccasins I'm walking in

And if you ever wondered where did we go

Come enjoy the slots, blackjack, or keno

Bring your wallets full to hear cha-ching

So where did we go?

Indian casino

Indian casino

A fire ring, our spirit song

We have our reservations and a need to carry on

Oh, native man, or Indian

By any name these moccasins I'm walking in

And if you ever wondered where did we go

Come enjoy the slots, blackjack, or keno

Bring your wallets full to hear cha-ching

So where did we go?

Indian casino

Hie yie yaya, hie yie yaya…

Bring your wallets full to hear cha-ching

So where did we go?

Indian casino

So where did we go?

Indian casino

Rabbit Season - Duck Season

This is a spin of "Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons with a Loony Tunes twist.

Wisten wittle wabbit, I'm a hunter

And I'm coming with my gun

This may seem a bad thing

But for hunters wabbit season's weally fun

Make yourself avawabwool

Come up out of your wittle wabbit hole

So I can shoot you wiff my bullets, as a hunter that weally is my goal

But Fudd, unless you want a fine

You should read it on the sign

You see it's duck season this time

Mister Fudd, hunter

Elmer Fudd, hunter

Twemble for youwself, my duck Fow now it's you I'm coming fowr Twemble wittle wascal duck Hunting ducks is what duck season's fowr I'll wace to chase you through the gwades Yowr finger can not keep my gun in check And though it bwows up in my face, I'm going to wing youw feather neck

But Fudd, unless you want a fine

You should read it on the sign

You see it's wabbit season time

Elmer Fudd, hunter

But Fudd, unless you want a fine

You should read it on the sign

You see it's duck season this time

Mister Fudd, hunter

Elmer Fudd, hunter

But Fudd, unless you want a fine

You should read it on the sign

You see it's wabbit season time

Elmer Fudd, hunter

But Fudd, unless you want a fine

You should read it on the sign

You see it's duck season this time

Mister Fudd, hunter

Elmer Fudd, hunter

Tidy Tie

This is a courtroom spin of "The Old Man Down the Road" by John Fogarty.

He hit the courtroom like a wind storm

His words are thunder in the sky

He can debate stronger than you or me

He make a jedi knight comply

He got a tidy tie

He got tip top 'tallian shoes

He got a tidy tidy tie

That lawyer, his case is won

He got the eyes to size the jurors

He got the wise to nod their heads

He got a briefcase covered with rattlesnake hide

Opposing lawyer's feeling dread

He got a tidy tie

He got tip top 'tallian shoes

He got a tidy tidy tie

That lawyer, his case is won

He know the words to seize your reason

He show the courtroom why and how

He effects flawless litigation

That lawyer brings the court around

He got a tidy tie

He got tip top 'tallian shoes

He got a tidy tidy tie

That lawyer, his case is won

Yeah that lawyer's case is won

Pick It Out (Booger on the Bedpost)

The nose picker's version of "Inside Out" by Eve 6.

(Chorus) I would wake up at night, sinus aching inside

With a big crusty glob of snot congesting my mind

Should I pick it out, I could scream and shout

Hard boogers just hate hard boogers

Wanna put my finger, knuckle deep or deeper

Wiggle it around, finagle that big booger out

You'd remove boogers too if you knew this goo

I squirm squirm like a worm on a fish hook, hurt, stuck, and so impaled

I want to wimper, whine, and wail

That big blob of snot is painful

My brain is cramped and small, I think I found your wiffle ball

I read words in nasal crannies

In thick gobs of crusty braile

My nostril burns when I exhale

(Chorus)

So calloused in my sinus

From the pick pick of my fingernail

This one looks like a carabou

Or is it more a reindeer, all it needs, a little sled

Tormented by the mucus in my head

(Chorus)

You'd remove it too

Struck a bone in the zone, oh my nose

New breed ankylosaurus

What a find when your mind goes

Stick it where it sticks most, booger on the bedpost

Struck a bone in the zone, oh my nose

New breed ankylosaurus

What a find when your mind goes

Another booger on the bedpost

(Chorus)