The Han Soliloquy

This takes "Seven Nation Army" by the White Stripes to a galaxy far, far away, with a quick toastable breakfast snack.

I'm not a fighter pilot
Some death star station target's not a bold attack
Its more like idiotic
Falcon to fly, why be tied in that
And a faster laser blaster gets by
More times than jedi tricks
Picking thick trash mash grime
Inside my stinking my vest

And the wookie standing by my side says,
A worra roroar

Don't wanna speak about it
When you can not breathe you don't speak all that well
Its not that gross vest odor
Its Darth Vader and his forceful strangle spell
He wanna put me in a pop tart
Hey, that gonna make me annoyed
Sorry, Luke about your dad
A screw short of a droid

And that gooey going in my nose feels
Really gross

I can not move at all
Star war space opera is such a bore
I got an itchy aah
Feel the snot drip, I can't take any more
And when you're frozen in midsneeze
Inside a pastry shell that really blows
And the whines from my sinus scream
Solo, scratch your nose

And this hard frozen hand of Han
Can not scratch my nose