+2 Loaded Dungeon Dice of the Pirate Ninja Garden Gnome

This takes Kim Carnes "Bette Davis Eyes" to the dark fringes of Gary Gygax's universe.

He plays a pirate gnome
With ninja skills on the side
He guards his garden home
He's got loaded dungeon dice
He leads a ninja gnome crew
His stats are higher than high
He sure hits those good rolls
He got loaded dungeon dice

And he speeds through
With his wee crew
Gets the treasure but its wee too
And he throws his dicey rolls
Just like a snake who takes the gold dust
He poked the cyclops goddess in the saucer eye
He's got loaded dungeon dice

He gets to take the gold
He's got a moat to buy
He makes you give him more
He's got loaded dungeon dice
He'll make his die roll +2
Buddy, take my advice
And have him roll for you too
He's got loaded dungeon dice

And he goes through dungeon pros too
Hard to beat with his saving throw skew
And he throws his dicey rolls
Just out to make a dragon's nose gush
All the dwarves think he's a spy
He's got loaded dungeon dice

And he'll beat you
With his wee crew
All the better just to cheat you
And he throws his dicey rolls
Just nuff to make the tables go bust
He makes the dungeon master cry
He's got loaded dungeon dice

He'll beat you
With his wee crew
Just to cheat you
He's got loaded dungeon dice
He'll bulldoze you, when he throws two
And he goes through
He's got loaded dungeon dice