Beware the Butter

She needs the butter life
She feeds the butter life

Well she hates to wait in a margerine tub
And she moans when she's in one
She likes the warmth of a waffle iron
That's where she's going
To work a quick enchantment
Slip a slick spell on your tongue
With just one bit of butter and you're done
She's going to get you

All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
She's on your waffle now
All that she haunts is the butter, waiting, yeah
All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
You've got a mouthful now
All that she haunts is the butter, melting away

All that she haunts
All that she haunts

So if you think you might like a crunchy bite
Of some buttered battered prawns
Its butter charms she works on you
You must remember
Your doctor warned of trans-fats
With their paranormal ties
Beware the butter baked into your pie
She's going to get you

All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
She's on your waffle now
All that she haunts is the butter, waiting, yeah
All that she haunts is the butter, maybe
You've got a mouthful now
All that she haunts is the butter, melting away

Dainty Bugs

Sometimes I find, it seems
You've got bugs on your mind, you see
I need to find a way to break
The scientific grip of entomology
At bugs you stare
I need to show I care
And although I try
Between ticks and mites, I can't catch your eyes
Bugs!  What can I do? (I can)
Here's a plan for you
I'll dress these bugs I'm giving
In lace and bows they're oh so pretty
Make bugs fancy, presto and they're all
Dainty bugs
(whoa-o-o-o) Dainty bugs

Now I know I've got these
Bugs to paint, I've got to decorate
All these itty bugs in your treasury
Sometimes I try
But these words won't come out right
But now I think I found a way
'Cause I made your bug a bug toupee

Bugs feet can do shoes
But plain shoes won't do
I'll sprinkle glue and glitter
To sparkle up your bugs new slippers
Make bugs fancy, presto and they're all
Dainty bugs
(whoa-o-o-o) Dainty bugs

Those bugs need these
I give you fashionista fleas
Your bugs would glow in dainty clothes
Now I'm gonna pick my threads and sew
Dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o), dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o)
Dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o), dainty bugs (whoa-o-o-o)
Plush antennae, dainty bugs
Plush antennae, dainty bugs

Baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Let me weave you some more
I've got these glittered knitted sweaters fitted for brine fleas
Those lucky brine fleas
Echinoderms are sad
Blue suede hats fit your flies, so snazzily
Those are dapper bugs
Take it from me
And now I found around here, some centipedes
You know I believe, I need some more sleeves

Oh baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Let me weave you some more
Oh baby, baby, look at these bugs clothes
Oh they're so dainty
Don't you really adore

Lippy Doo

Charlie Chaplin, Fu Manchu
Facial hair is what they do
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Hulk Hogan and Einstein too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Try a hairy, get a lippy doo creation
But if you trim a get a lippy doo too straight
You're gonna look like Hitler

So, wax it classic barkeep style
Or flash your Errol Flynn profile
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Get a little, grow a lippy doo too
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Try a hairy, get a lippy doo creation
But if you trim a get a lippy doo too late
You're gonna look like Hagrid

So, sport it Colonel Mustard style
Or twirl a thin whip villian spiral
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Hairless lip, he feeling blue
Hey Shaggy pal of Scooby Doo
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Doctor Phil and Dali too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Hairless lips, they feeling blue
Honest Abe and Doctor Who
Get a little, grow a lippy doo

Groucho Marx and Ghandi too
Are in the furry lippin' crew
Get a little, grow a lippy doo too

Get a lippy doo

Plural Abnormalities

You can have a moose or a dozen moose it does not matter
Many moose or one moose is the same moose when it's said and done
But plural abnormalities
Mean more antlers in the mossy trees
And their swampy diet smells just like the lint inside my belly button

What can be deducted from this quirky lack of s's?
Like when a plane full of squid, still is the squid
So I guess they made that oxen end
When they found that foxes sound like this (bring ding ding da ding)
And the moose got gypped when they found that mice was taken

But I'll sniff it 'til the lint runs out
And if I scratch a bit in there then there's still this putty
Reminding me of the moose cud
When I breathe the belly oder well it smells like stuff
Now you didn't have to move the door
And your friends are making snickers, but I'm not a weirdo
I guess that I don't need lint though
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

Geese, mice, squidsheep and oxen in a room
Smell just like this putty from my belly button… ew

Now and then I think of all the kinds of plural endings
When you think about it well it really can seem kinda dumb
But it has always been that way
And what's the big deal anyway
Why don't you just let it go
And why do you sniff that putty that you picked out of your belly hole?

But I'll sniff it 'til the lint runs out
And if I scratch a bit in there then there's still this putty
Reminding me of the moose cud
When I breathe the belly odor well it smells like stuff
Now you didn't have to move the door
And your friends are making snickers but I'm not a weirdo
I guess that I don't need lint though
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

Some putty
My belly hole
Some putty
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole
Some putty
My belly hole
Some putty
Now I just sniff putty from my belly hole

My belly hole
From my belly hole
My belly hole
Some putty

Macrame Cow

"Hi, this is Adora, leave a message at the beep."
<BEEP>

"Hello, Mrs. Bullhead.  This is Mr. Spackle, your son Bob's craft teacher.  I'm calling because your son has clogged my sink with cheese again.  You'll be receiving another call from the principal about detention or parent conferences or whatever.  My call is more about the cheese.  Bob doesn't like the cheese you are giving him, and I need my sink.  I understand the importance of calcium, but could you please try giving him milk, or yogurt, or a water soluble multivitamin instead?  Thank you."

How can I decide a craft to make
For this class of crafting things
I don't want to mess my hands with glue, with glue, ooh
Yeah that's only fun
When you can clean the glue off

How can I teach crafts without a sink?
When all I got is glue and messy things
Cause there's squished in cheddar down the drain
And cheese wax too, I fear
Yeah, glue's only fun when you can get the glue off

So make a macrame cow
See we have these crafting strings
This is not a day for tye-dying
When we haven't got a sink
So make a macrame cow
Put "moo" in twine captioning
And to make the back curvy
You just twist the knots
Yeah that's what it's gonna take

Oh, listen close and I will tell you how
Tell you now, here is my sage advice
You can twist a piece into a loop
To get these strings entwined
And glue's only fun when you can clean the glue off

So make a macrame cow
We'll weave with these crafting strings
Cause there ain't no paper mache decoupaging
When we haven't got a sink
Yeah, make a macrame cow
We'll use up these crafting strings

But to make this moo
Is all we can do
In the time we got today
Make your new macrame cow
These strings will bring stranding cheer
And to make this twine guernsey
Is to twist the knots
It's the craft we're gonna make

Make a macrame cow

Carry My Beans

And now I'm here at Super Savings
I get a cart that's rolling gimpy
I have some rice and cans of spray cheese
Around the turn to where the beans be
So what the hey's with out of place peas
Never shoulda played that game

If you stocked enough
I'd have bought enough
I'd have got enough
But I've not enough
And your stock is out
And you made it worse
And my temper's hot
So don't say a word

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos, so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas?  Well, I don't think so

Bean burrito woulda made me happy
You didn't need to tease me that way
And all these peas are all the same thing
And there's no beans being around me
And now I find you speaking clowny
Burritos out of luck and now

If you stocked enough
I'd have bought enough
I'd have got enough
But I've not enough
And your stock is out
And you made it worse
And my temper's hot
So don't say a word

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  Well, I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas
I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man

I'm so sorry watchman
Did I do the wrong thing?
Oh, what was I thinking?
Now he's all so cheesy

Woah ohh woah

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
Joke about peas?  I just cheese the man

Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Don'tcha carry my beans?  I don't think so
Stockboy talk
Teasing pea burritos so I had to cheese his head
He won't joke about peas anymore
No he won't joke about peas, I just cheese the man
I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man, I just cheese the man
I just cheese the man (Sold out store)
I just cheese the man (Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead)
I just cheese the man (Don't you carry my beans anymore?)
Carry my beans?  I don't think so
Sold out store
Stockboy being sneaky, putting other cans out instead
Don't you carry my beans anymore
Carry my beans?  I just cheese the man

Sauteed Squirrels

Sometimes you're feeling underfed
You're chewing on a sneaker and rolling in the bed
They say you're bad, too unstable
Sniffing the chairs and licking the tables
There's a red squirrel, out on the lawn
And on T.V. there's a chef-a-thon
Feed a yawn, breathe in deep
Then lay it down, to a dachshund's sleep

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

Use crunchy kibbles, dachshund advises
Cheeses and sauces, mystery spices
Fish, bugs, pie, bones
Doorknob turns, someone's home
Hang onto your keys, can we please, can we go for a walk and
Keep on your shoes, lets walk around the block, and
(A dog's gotta pee)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

(Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on)
(Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on)
(A dog's gotta pee)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels

Well it gives you gas, those rawhide bones
Found the box, I'll eat me some
It tastes delicious, but there's the gas
Sore tummy, but eat some grass
A quickie fix-it, for situations
From diarrhea to the constipation
(I farted again)

When a dachshund dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
In a dachshund's dreams of another world
It's squeeky toys and sauteed squirrels
Sauteed squirrels, sauteed squirrels, sauteed squirrels
(I farted again)