Geek

I got called a nerd today
I like being me
That makes it all O.K.
Tried to tell you
When you called me names like dorky
And a nerdy techno geek
But you meant it mean
Yes, I can decide
This - how I receive
Your words - they are unkind
I can make a stand, your words have been defused
I don't envy you
And your babble don't mean anything
Nerdy can be fun

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
Phreaked your phone and placed a call
Ordered take-out from Nepal
That fish smell, with green leeks
You'll get it in three weeks
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

What you don't understand
This is me, and I take pride in what I am
Rest assured that when you use the nerdy verbage
And you try to make it mean
The meanings rearrange
And your words won't mean a thing

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
You're a winner by the way
You rocked it on e-bay
You're the high bidding king
On every rectal cream
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

Just when you think, you got me, put me down
Your meanings all, "What the hey, man"
If being cool is being cool like you
Then nerdy's what I'll be

I'm a geek, I'm a hacker
I'm a crunchy cheesepuff snacker
You like TV, but it ain't
The view you knew today
Your cable, it's been cleaned
Of every show you've seen
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

You've made friends overseas
With tip largess to Napalese
When you hurt, when you suffer
You've got cream to cure your butt hurts
I've had fun, I won't lie
You still get Nepal nine
You know, you really aughta watch the things you say

Ice Cream for an Extraterrestrial

Dropping down on the night LA
I got metamorph for a human face
So I'll be disguised in the ice cream aisle
To see what they have today

You and I both know
Everyone must go and pay
I hear dough's the way

Spinning off like a sad robot
With a rusty diode and an itchy spark
I complete an app at the Baker Shack
But I need to play the part

Take the test and go
Show gusto and go today
Here dough's the way, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind, and
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Window down to the parking lot
You got no time for the afterthought
And I slip a Slurpee to a guy named Bob
Well that's me looking for pee

Thank the thirsty man
Cup o' urine in my hand
Way in a jamb, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind, and
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Do you want this job of mine?
Doctors test this all the time
Do you want it? Do you want it now?

Do you want ice cream sublime?
'Cause ice cream comes in lots of kinds
Do you want it? Do you want it now?

I get a check from the Baker Shack
And I'm back checking out the ice cream rack
So I make a pick of a frozen snack
It's a crème brule sorbet

Any flavor cone
Everyone needs dough to pay
Here dough's the way, yeah

You don't know that I'm
I'm not human kind
Doctor says to pee, I've got a worried mind
He'll tell the world that I'm fallen from the sky
Doctor says to pee, my urine's iodine

Rice Shreddies

Play morning twister, breakfast has come
Play morning twister, what could be more fun?
Play morning twister, how's your marzipan?
Play morning twister, could you pass the salt?
Play morning twister, got one!

It's a nice way to grab bacon (that or)
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon

Play morning twister, who wants some more grits?
Play morning twister, where's your egg sandwich?
Play morning twister, got one! (oh yeah)
Play morning twister, how's your marzipan?
Play morning twister, got one!

It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon <bacon crunch>

Pick it up
Take some hash browns and

Play morning twister, what's on your bun
Play morning twister, what could be more fun?
(Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon)
Hide it away, or so long (so long)
Hide it away, or so long (so long)
I got your bacon, so long

It's a nice way to grab bacon  (that or)
It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies
It's a nice way to grab bacon <bacon crunch>

There is nothing fair in this meal
There is nothing safe in this meal
And there's nothing square in this meal
And this game keeps going on until
When there's something left you can steal
Grab bacon  (that or)

It's a nice way to eat rice shreddies (yow)
It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to grab bacon
It's a nice way to grab bacon

I Won't Eat Mush

Well it's like eating oatmeal
Without that oatmeal appeal
And you're trying your train deal
But that train deal's got old
And just like them old jars
Them old jars you've tried so far
You say here's the train car
You hold up your bowl

Well, I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush

And when you're having your plate
You chew food that looks so great, and
I'll be here patiently waiting
To eat food that kind

You're saying train cars, no deal
Say it's a plane, not a meal
Here comes a boat, just get real
I'm not gonna buy it
No, I won't eat mush

I don't wanna eat some gunky gobs of mush you feed to me
    and wear a bib and dribble icky mush all down my chin
That icky mush sure looks like snot, you say it's a choo choo
    but where's the tracks you got, yeah, I caught you, not a train
Hand me some bread, with butter spread, and berry jam instead
    there's just this muck, I'm gonna spin, I'm gonna squirm
I had to hold a tight lip grin to stop the spoon from slipping in
    I'll push the bowl, make it drop, and hear the plop of goo again

I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush, not eating mush

No, I won't eat up this mush (no I won't, eat that mush)
I'm onto your choo choo chugs (why eat mush, why eat mush)
You've got a lot of nerve (tell me why, eat up mush)
I'm onto your food fibs (they are food fibs)

I won't eat up this mush
Even with your choo choo chugs
I'm tipping my sippy cup
I'm not eating mush

Food Fight of Evermore

The lunching line, checking out
And tensions turn to goals
A plate of peas to face the doom
Au graton potatoes

Oh, chance of a food fight
Bring it for your side
The forecast tides a course flung high
And flying spaghetti falls

Oh, load up your chow and go
Best not to eat it all
Stewed or fried debates decide
An airborne smorgasbord

I have sauces gathered, bound for a volley o' woe
I'm waiting with my noodles of parmesean, waiting with a feast to throw

The applesauce is really co-old, and freezy makes it best
And salad for your colon care
Fiber, do not forget
No, no

Chance of a food fight
Fling it high for your side
The applesauce poured down his back
And croutons on his head

Oh war is the common cry
Pick up your sporks and
The sky is filled with fruit gone bad
And kernals of old corn

Oh, go down

So while the fight rolls on, get under tables, go
Guard the prize of these chili fries, waiting with a feast to throw

The rain of corn we fought receds, when 'lo a snack attack
The knees will quake as nachos fall
Then sling fries right on back, fries-on
Sing liberation
Fries-on
Toss taters at the horde
No comfort has the pile of fries
When lies an empty bowl

Oh, chance of a food fight
Fling it with all your might
So wipe your jeans to get the cheese and fling the nachos back
Fling a snack

At last the chef is nigh and
His cries of truce rise high
When flings from the tables of two sides
The goulash blinds his eyes

Oh ahh oh
Fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack
Fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack
Duck down, go down, get down, oh
Duck down, go down, get down
Fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack, fling a snack
Duck down, go down, get down, oh
Duck down, go down, get down
Fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it
Fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it, fling it

Burnt Umber

Paper, tears one off, and lays it down, she's got to draw
Think how, unicorns and princesses could be
As she opens the box, tips it over
No crayons in there but this one burnt umber

Her skies aren't blue and her trees aren't green, can't find another crayon
She's got no yellow, no green, no red, can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon
Oh

Thinkin' to herself, this rainbow's lame, not colorful
She draws an elf
Oh, remember box when crayons were full and long
Then bratty brother, stole in, stole them all
Crayons got eaten, now her crayons are gone

She wants some orange and she wants some red, can't find another crayon
She's got no purple, no pink, no thing, can't find another crayon
She lies and says she likes umber, can't find another crayon
She sees no silver, she sees no gold, can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon

She lost them, she can't color dreams this way
He eats them, he wants a crayon snack again

Can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon
Can't find another crayon

No Timmy!  That one tastes like poo!

Speed Dial a Mime

He aughta study for the SAT
But grammar is not his cup of tea
This whole English thing
Well, it seems such a waste of time

The weekend's been when he paints his face
And he heads downtown to a special place
And there the faire troupe throng
Will put on a big pantomime

Go see Milo the mime
Go see Milo the mime

Years spin by on the hands of time
While this miming champion
Will fit his hands in cotton whites
And squeeze in a box again

And now Milo's up on a TV show
He's wearing a contestant sign
And posed with a question he don't know
He'll call on his mime life line

Go speed dial a mime
Go speed dial a mime
Go speed dial a mime
Speed dial a mime

What do you know?
I is a pronoun
What do you know?

What do you know?
You is a pronoun
And we is a pronoun

What do you know?
Speed dial
This is a pronoun

My yie yie yie yie yie mime
This is a pronoun
What do you know?  I is a pronoun
What do you know?  You is a pronoun
What do you know?  We is a pronoun
Now now now now now now noun
Speed dial
Speed dial a mime