The Pumice Shoe

Before I begin, hear one small disclaimer

For plantar warts, seek podiatrists care

But when feet are sore, and cracking's a danger

Don't limp anymore, you have something to wear

So listen, here's an idea that will bring your feet relief

The pumice shoe

It's a new invention all you limpy people need

The pumice shoe

Your foot pain will soon be gone, and then you will believe

The pumice shoe

The pumice shoe, the pumice shoe for foot care

When callus cracks, and your heels are tender

Let's just face the facts, it can be hard to bear

And if you use it as it's intended

Your feet will be smooth as a babe's derriere

So listen, here's an idea that will bring your feet relief

The pumice shoe

It's a new invention all you limpy people need

The pumice shoe

Your foot pain will soon be gone, and then you will believe

The pumice shoe

The pumice shoe, the pumice shoe…

So listen, here's an idea that will bring your feet relief

The pumice shoe

It's a new invention all you limpy people need

The pumice shoe

Your foot pain will soon be gone, and then you will believe

The pumice shoe

The pumice shoe, the pumice shoe…

I'm gonna sell ya, your feet will sell ya

Smooth feet will sell ya, I'm gonna sell ya

So listen, here's an idea that will bring your feet relief

The pumice shoe

It's a new invention all you limpy people need

The pumice shoe

Your foot pain will soon be gone, and then you will believe

The pumice shoe

The pumice shoe, the pumice shoe…

So listen, here's an idea that will bring your feet relief

The pumice shoe

It's a new invention all you limpy people need

The pumice shoe

You can have volcanic footwear sent to you C.O.D.

The pumice shoe

The pumice shoe, …

The pumice shoe

Super Stinky Man

Driving to the middle of nowhere

Windows rolled down for the wind

Coughing when I'm cruising the motorway

When I'm out of breath  (Out of breath)

Because it's back there you farted

Stunk the air up again

Drive and I pray, try to blow it away

And then you do it again  (Do it again.  Do it again)

Now we found your super power

There the air we're breathing again

Super villians seek surrender

Get up, go out, do it again

And then it's back there you farted

Saved the whole town again  (Stunk the air up again)

Back there you farted

Go on, do it again  (Do it again)

And you think the world is going to get better

Pass some gas and do it again

Give 'em a fart and knock 'em over

Today you will, but where will it end

Because it's back there you farted

Stunk the air up again

Driving all day, try to air it away

Then you do it again  (Do it again. Do it again. Do it again)

In days gone by you thought you were an average guy

Average friends and a dull set of clothes

You had no suspicions events would affect those

Your dull house, your dull car, your dull job, your dull nose

But you ate some broccoli and it's saving the day

Because the way that it fermented keeps making villians say

Give up. I give up  (Give up. I give up)

Back there you farted, saved the whole town again

Back there you farted, go on and do it again  (Do it again. Do it again)

Back there you farted, saved the whole town again

Day after day they give up and I say

Do it again.  Do it again.  Do it again.

Day after day they give up and I say

Go on and do it again  (Do it again. Do it again. Do it again.)

Hobbit Love Song

Second breakfast time

In a hobbit hole home gotta stop and dine

So relax your feet, eat up and unwind

Have some herbal tea, and a yummy bun, it's an elven one

In this hobbit home, time to eat, you and I, we two alone

An edible, hobbit full, bellyful

To break my fast again

And I just want to know, Bilbo

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

And I'll braid your hairy feet-feet-feet-feet-feet

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

And I'll braid your hairy feet-feet-feet-feet-feet

Stay with me, and let no wizard take you away from me

Say goodbye to those dwarves and their questing pleas

You need food to eat, wouldn't you

Don't you feel like having elf food

It's so yummy

It's known elvenkind bake with mastery

These are flavorful, honeyful, wonderful

These are… And I just want to know, Bilbo

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

And I'll braid your hairy feet-feet-feet-feet-feet

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

And I'll braid your hairy feet-feet-feet-feet-feet

My own foot hairs

Groomed and done up, with dwarven braid cords and love

The way to your heart, that cute belly ball

A meal that goes on and on

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

And I'll braid your hairy feet-feet-feet-feet-feet

Are you hungry?  Have an elf cake, Bilbo

I, I love you like an elf cake, Bilbo

Honey Hobbit, have an elf cake, Bilbo

Hobbit love song

Grasses Get Mowed

Well, I knew a little lady, and she was in a jam

So I did all her yardwork, and put out her garbage cans

Whoa, I made some bread to blow

Well she told Mister Kramer who's been spreading my name

'Cause I trimmed his roses and they're really a pain

Hey, hey, and then I met the Vandelay's

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

Cause I'm the best gardner that will gardner yards for cheap

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

The green things always grow, and I always pull the weeds

Grasses over grow-ow-own, their lawns be

Get it mow-ow-owed, they want me, to rake the ya-ar-ard

It grows you know

Grasses get mowed

Got an extra fiver pruning two whole trees

Mister Ping told the Putty's and they tipped Babu to me

My, my, how those grasses grow high

I get five, I'm the guy for the mow

Doing yardwork, weeding, and trim the hedges low

You know, that's how this gardner rolls

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

Cause I'm the best gardner that will gardner yards for cheap

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

The green things always grow, and I always rake the leaves

Grasses over grow-ow-own, their lawns be

Get it mow-ow-owed, they want me, to rake the ya-ar-ard

It grows you know

Those grasses over grow-ow-own, their lawns be

Get it mow-ow-owed, they want me, to rake the ya-ar-ard

It grows you know

Grasses get mowed

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

If they're short of money, do the job for a grilled cheese

One, two, three, they refer neighbors to me

The green things always grow, and I always pull the weeds

Those grasses over grow-ow-own, their lawns be

Get it mow-ow-owed, they want me, to rake the ya-ar-ard

It grows you know

Grasses over grow-ow-own, their lawns be

Get it mow-ow-owed, they want me, to rake the ya-ar-ard

It grows you know

Grasses get mowed

Toast vs Bagel

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Don't make me choose between a

Toast or blueberry

Bagel

Hon', heat up a bagel

Breakin' my fast, day's begun

Bacon's warm and the eggs are done

Hon', heat up a bagel

Where's my bagel breakfast roll

Knife for spreading

A little cream cheese on

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Hon', heat up a bagel

I'd really love some

Buttery toast

And dreamy cream cheese, bagel

Hon', heat up a bagel

Make a chill mug o' chocolate milk

Chug a mug back, goes fine

With my

Hon', heat up a bagel

I'll slip, twist my ankle in a pool o' tears

If someone doesn't come and tell me, "Sugar, here's…"

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Hon', heat up a bagel

One of these days, if you just won't stop

Gonna drive down town

To the bagel shop

Gonna stack that sardine can up to the top

Just fold those seats back hatch back van

Do it up tight, but you gotta pack smart

Dozen by, dozen by, box upon box, I sincerely now

I sincerely have to say

Hon', heat up a bagel Hon' on the toaster, Hon' on the toaster Hon' on the toaster, Hon' on the toaster

Where's my bagel breakfast roll Knife for spreading A little cream cheese on Hold on here's, here's toast, hot, hot, hot Hon', heat up a bagel

Don't make me choose between a

Toast or blueberry

Bagel

Hon', heat up a bagel

Hon' on the toaster, Hon' on the toaster

Hon' on the toaster, there's a bagel setting

I'll slip, twist my ankle in a pool o' tears

If someone doesn't come and tell me, "Sugar, here's…"

Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot Hold on here's toast, hot, hot, hot

Gum

Did it lose it's flavor

Or was it hard to chew

Well it was on the paver, and … ew... now

It's sticking to my shoe

I got

Gum stuck

Gum gross

When it's in my treads

It really blows

Gum stuck

Off the grubby ground

With each step it's making

That sucky sound

Did it not blow bubbles

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth

Too wet to hold it in your hand

And so you went and spit it out

Well it's…

Chewed up

Chewed out

It's sticking fast, now I wanna shout

It’s gum, stuck with stones and twigs

I drag my

Shoe in the gutter

Shoe in the gutter

Gum

Did your gum go lose it's sweetness

Did your gum decay your teeth

Now your gum's stuck on my sneaker

It's all gooey underneath

It's on my shoe

Chewed up and used

I try to scrape it

But it's really fuzed

It's gum

What'cha gonna do

Well you

Spit out another

And now it's on my shoe

You put

Gum under tables

Gum behind the door

Gum under tables

Gum it up some more

You made it all sticky

And spit it on the floor

And I can't condone you now

Not anymore

Cuz now it's on my foot

Gum chewed

Gum stick

Gum's done

It's time to get rid of it

Gum's done

Tasteless spittle

Slobber

A little

Gum's done

What'cha gonna do

It's time to

Unwrap another

Unwrap another

One…. Gum

Chew

Make it.  Make it.  Make it

Bubble  (Does it)  Bubble

Chew it up

Chew it up

Bubble  (Make it)  Bubble

I Wanna See This Street Paved

You can do the paving

Or be a lazing while a flagman holds a sign

You can lead the work crew

You can do the job too, with those cones all in a line

Or you can start goofing off

No one's gonna get through, when they're all stuck too

In this gridlock traffic zone

Men with their stop signs, spinning in time

Can juggle traffic cones

And I wonder when you'll ever be thru

Day after working day

I'm idling again, and

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

I want to drive away

You know without a doubt

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

Just wanna see this

I just wanna see this

Just wanna see this

I wanna see this street paved

Just wanna see this

I just wanna see this

Just wanna see this

I wanna see this street paved

Everybody's car stopped

Everybody's gridlocked, late for where they wanna be

Some are feeling fear

Some angry or in tears

And that guy needs to pee

No fun…  Gas needle's in the red zone

Maybe we can pray, now is the day work begins

Maybe one of these days you could fill that hole in

So please, get with the paving

Day after working day

I'm idling again, and

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

I want to drive away

You know without a doubt

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

Ten cents could call in some road service

Won't do me any good

Did you think it would?

Now my tank is outta time and empty

How will the tow truck get thru?

Day after working day

I'm idling again and

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

I want to drive away

It makes me wanna shout

Honestly, I wanna see this street paved

Just wanna see this

I just wanna see this

I just wanna see this

I wanna see this street paved