Lemon Creme Pie

When night was young we would run round the circus tent

With clowny games, like hide and seek pies

That's what we did, that's what we did, that's what we did

But clown school finals changed the game that we were playing

Makes you fling it up high

That lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

What does it matter to ya

Running round in floppy shoes

You gotta do it well

You gotta squeek your nose and run and yell

Yes, long ago we would drive 'round the circus tent

Our little car, five clown shoes high

That's what we did, that's what we did, that's what we did

But clown school finals changed the games that we were playing

Makes you fling it up high

That lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

Lemon crème pie

Lord of the Yodel

My nose blows wet in my hanky tonight

Only yodeler to be heard

This mountain's been abandoned, 'cept by shaggy goats and birds

My tongue is flapping like a pretty butterfly

I just have to sing, and I'll tell you why

No one to see, no one to hear

Except a saint bernard with my barreled beer

No one to hear, why should I care

My voice echoes - eve.ry.where

Yodel on, Yodel on

The last of the yodelers

Yodel on, Yodel on

Echoes back across the mountain tors

I yodel loud, I yodel free

My yodels fly

Far and back to me

It's funny how one voice can break down a silent wall

And the voice that breaks the silence reaches out unto us all

High in the cold thin air, is a place where silence thrives

One voice is all it takes to bring the yodel back to life

Yodel on, Yodel on

The last of the yodelers

Yodel on, Yodel on

Echoes back across the mountain tors

I yodel loud, I yodel free

My yodels fly

Far and back to me

I will pose in

Fancy lederhozen

Singing spendors

And wearing bright suspenders

Echoes on and on

Yodel on, Yodel on

The last of the yodelers

Yodel on, Yodel on

Echoes back across the mountain tors

I yodel loud, I yodel free

My yodels fly

Far and back to me

So yodel loud and yodel free

Yodel clear, in yodel harmony

Yodel on, Yodel on

Yodel on and on and on

Bathtub, Rubber Duck, 'n the Baker's Dozen

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough dough                     Yow!

This tub - it's too cold

I'm gonna freeze - my jelly roll

This tub - gonna chill me

There will be - freezy cold éclair

That fillin', just chillin' - Gettin' goosebumps, that ain't pretty

All flusterd, my cold custard

Gettin' the dough, you know, gritty

It's too cold (Turn't up)

This soggy croissant it ain't funny, man

It's too cold (Turn't up)

This powdered donut's all gummy, man

It's too cold (Turn't up)

Ain't no blame so just get it right

It's too cold (And full)

So drain it down

Start again

Nibblin' on my fritter (mmmm)

Nibblin' on my fritter (mmmm)

Nibblin' on my fritter (mmmm)

(Now listen here, I don't bathe alone)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

That fritter really hit the spot!

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

Say, say, say, yum!

Stop

Wait a minute

Fill my tub, put some bubbles in it

Makin sure, dip my toe

Turn around!  Gotta scratch!

Scratch my shoulder, oh that's good, that itchy spot below my knee

If you itch it, gotta scratch it

Like a bare back on that barky tree

It's too hot (Turn't down)

This maple bar is a goner, man

It's too hot (Turn't down)

Don't wanna bathe in a sauna, man

It's too hot (Turn't down)  (Turn't down)

There ain't no blame so just get it right

It's too hot (And full)

So drain it down

Start again

Nibblin' on my cruller (mmmm)

Nibblin' on my cruller (mmmm)

Nibblin' on my cruller (mmmm)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

My rubber duck gonna squeek a lil' (squeek)

That cruller really hit the spot!

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

Say, say, say, yum!

Before I bathe

Let me tell yall a lil' something

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

I said bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

I gonna eat

This donut

Got some sprinkles on it

This rainbow sprinkle donut

Gonna nibble off, pink frosting

I gonna eat

This donut

This rainbow sprinkle donut

Well that sprinkly donut done hit the spot

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

Dough…

Dough… Dough-nuht,       Dough… Dough-nuht,        Dough dough      (Yum!)

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

If you're dirty, just wash

Say, say, say, yum!

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck  ('n doh-nuhht)

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck  ('n doh-nuhht)

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

(You may say it's yucky)

(Got frosting on my ducky)

(Don't know how it got on there)

(Wash it off, and I don't care)

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck  ('n doh-nuhht)

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck

Bathtub, rubber duck, bathtub rubber duck  ('n doh-nuhht)

Bathtub, rubber duck!

Yow!

Antipasto

Eat!  Eat!  Have some more!

When I visit my dear-a Aunt-a Lena

She always give me a something good to eat-a

Ravioli, tortalini

She cooks it up and puts it down before me

Zeppoli, cannoli

My tummy's sore but it looks so yummy

I'm gonna tell you all about an appatizer

Follow my moves and you may eat a little wiser

Get in the groove, and then you spread it on brushetta

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

It's a snack-a don't need a macaroni

Mix it up you've got no need to wait for dinner

They all approve, you see this dish, she is a winner

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Now don't you worry 'bout being hungry

My belt she's got some extra notches

Ha!  I move one notch, move two notch

The button broke so I, ha ha ha

Now come on, what was I supposed to do

She had a lasagna, and the meatballs were so nice!

Chop a tomato, add a pepperoncini

Dice an olive and cut up an artichok-ie

Mix it up with a little eggy yolkie

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Piece a provolone add a bit o' bocconcini

Asiago so it's a extra cheesy

Prosciutto, Salami

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

(Ay! Ay!) (Ay! Ay!) (Ay! Ay!)

Eat!  Eat!  Have some more!

(Ay!)

A-A-Antipasto

A-A-Antipasto

A-A-Antipasto (Ay!)

A-A-Antipasto

A-A-Antipasto

A-A-Antipasto

Antipasto, antipasto, antipasto, antipasto

Chop a tomato, add a pepperoncini

Dice an olive and cut up an artichok-ie

Mix it up with a little eggy yolkie

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Piece a provolone add a bit o' bocconcini

Asiago so it's a extra cheesy

Prosciutto, Salami

Hey antipasto! (Ay!) (Ay!)

When I visit my dear-a Aunt-a Lena

She always give me a something good to eat-a

So yummy, so yummy

My tummy hurts, I feel a little nappy

I'm gonna tell you all about an appatizer

Follow my moves and you may eat a little wiser

Get in the groove, and then you spread it on brushetta

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

It's a snack-a don't need a macaroni

Mix it up you've got no need to wait for dinner

They all approve, you see this dish, she is a winner

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Chop a tomato, add a pepperoncini

Dice an olive and cut up an artichok-ie

Mix it up with a little eggy yolkie

Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Piece a provolone add a bit o' bocconcini

Asiago so it's a extra cheesy

Prosciutto, Salami

Hey antipasto! (Ay!) I'm gonna tell you all about an appatizer Follow my moves and you may eat a little wiser Get in the groove, and then you spread it on brushetta Hey antipasto! (Ay!)

Constipa...tion

I watched a fly walk on the wall

To pass my troubled time

That drippy faucet has me thinking

I am losing my mind

I am so tired of the rumble of the bathroom fan

I feel there's nothing I can do, ow

I am so tired of the rumble of the bathroom fan

After all this time in here

I wish my time in here was through

I really don't mind a can trip now and then

But when's this trip to the can gonna end

I need my fiber and you ate all of my raisin bran

You ate my grapefruit, all you left me's that old can of spam

It's futile but I try with my superhuman might

Constipa…

Now here I sit on this here seat

Bent with irregularity

I shook this cramped up stall

With echoes of my grunty howl

I concentrate, I pray, I beg

And feeling numbness in my leg

But nothing can alleviate my balking bowel

I need my fiber and you ate all of my raisin bran

You ate my grapefruit, all you left me's that old can of spam

It's futile but I try with my superhuman might

Constipate…

I need my fiber and you ate all of my raisin bran

You ate my grapefruit, all you left me's that old can of spam

It's futile but I try with my superhuman might

Constipate…

Shun!

I need my fiber and you ate all of my raisin bran

You ate my grapefruit, all you left me's that old can of spam

It's futile but I try with my superhuman might

Constipa…

Oh ohh ohh

Oh ohh ohh

Oh ohh ohh

Dispensable (The PEZ Empowerment Song)

This is a tale of packaged PEZ candy

Our crunchy shape a longish square

Stuck in the candy drawer!

Won't anybody eat us?

Stuck in the candy drawer!

We'd fit aboard some plastic instrument

We have our artifical flavoring

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

That plastic head could be extendable

We certainly would all fit inside

Stuck in the candy drawer!

We've got the right to be snacked on!

Stuck in the candy drawer!

When there's no more gummies in there anymore!

We'll get aboard that plastic instrument

We have our artifical flavoring

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

It could be Santa or Chewbacca

Or Frozen Queen of Ice

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

Won't anybody eat us?

Stuck in the candy drawer!  When there's no more…

No more gummies in there anymore

We'll get aboard that plastic instrument

We have our artifical flavoring

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

It could be Grumpy or Chewbacca

Check e-bay's bidding price!

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

We'll get aboard that plastic instrument

We have our artifical flavoring

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

We'll get aboard that plastic instrument

We have our artifical flavoring

And with geometric symmetry

We will be dispensable

In Klingon

NOTE: Lines in red are in spoken Klingon

The Star Trek Convention has come to town

I've got my costume on today

I've got my golden ticket in my spacy chainmail pocket

And phasors set for stun.  I'm on my way!

In Klingon (In Klingon)

I'm gonna sing this Trekke song

I'm gonna sing it down the halls

And off the elevator walls

You know, I'm gonna sing this Trekkie song

In Klingon (In Klingon)

I'm gonna sing this Trekke song

I'm gonna sing it to my cat

And when I'm at the laundromat

Oh yeah, I'm gonna sing this Trekkie song

Can you tell me where to find the implements of destruction?

Would the mighty rodent hunter like a belly rub?

A being of no honor has left the clothes drier all linty

In Klingon (In Klingon)

I'm gonna sing this Trekke song

I'm gonna sing it to street mimes

And in the supermarket lines

Oh yeah, I'm gonna sing this Trekkie song

In Klingon (In Klingon)

I'm gonna sing this Trekke song

I'm gonna sing it when I shower

With all my Klingon power

You know, I'm gonna sing this Trekkie song

This invisible box technology is most interesting

Let us do battle to determine our position in the checkout line

A clean forehead ridge is a happy forehead ridge

In Klingon (In Klingon)

I'm gonna sing this Trekke song

I'm gonna sing it at the diner

Oh yeah, I'll sing it all the time, yeah

You know, I'm gonna sing this Trekkie song

This meat is overcooked, without blood, and unappetizing

Dog Doo

I'm late (I'm late) and - racing for the door (racing for the door)

I don't (don't know) how - I - can - possibly - expect - to get - to school on time

And now (and now) I - am - running cross the lawn (running cross the lawn)

What - is - that - foul - o-dor

And - why's - grass - heading for my face - didn't ev-en stumble - so

Slow - down..  I - think - that - I - just - slipped - in

Dog doo (dog doo)

Bill - my - neighbor - walked his dog - didn't bring along a scoop - or a - plas-tic bag

Upon - my lawn - his dog was squatting - and squatting down

Dog doo (dog doo)

Bill - my - neighbor - walked his dog - didn't bring along a scoop - or a - plas-tic bag

Upon - my lawn - his dog was squatting - left a pile of - dog doo-o

Yes - dog - doo-ooo

I wipe (I wipe) feet across the grass, swiveling my heel

Still on - my foot, I try - jumping up and down - but I gotta think of some-thing - new

I scrape (I scrape) scraping with a stick, stick is springing up

And - now - it's - on - my pants - and there's still some-on my shoe

And pressed for time, best that I, - go - now

I'm - run-ning - down - the - street - with

Dog doo (dog doo)

Have you - ever been in class, and they all - look at you, They - smell - it - too

They pinch - their noses - pointing (and pointing) at

Dog doo (dog doo)

Have you - ever been in class, and they all - look at you, They - smell - it - too

They laugh - behind your back - pointing - at - dog - doo

I was scooping

I was scooping up blobs

I was scooping (I was scooping)

Got a paper bag of

And then I went over to Bill's house

And set that bag on fire (bag on fire)

And rang the doorbell too (geezer)

And I ran off like a race-hor-rrr-se

I - got - even - for - my - shoe-ooo

And it was - dog - doo-ooo

Dog doo (dog doo)

Bill - my - neighbor - walked his dog - didn't bring along a scoop - or a - plas-tic bag

Upon - my lawn - his dog was squatting - and squatting down

Dog doo (dog doo)

Bill - my - neighbor - walked his dog - didn't bring along a scoop - or a - plas-tic bag

Upon - my lawn - his dog was squatting - left a pile of - dog doo-o

When Bill steps on that ba-ag - he'll know - dog - doo

When Bill steps on that ba-ag - he'll know - (he'll know)

I Got Beamed on a Shiny Spaceship

I heard mallards and coots

Ducks I thought I'd shoot

Breathed in that fresh evening air

One star 'gan to grow

And I gazed at that glow

Soon it grew to a

kal-Eye-Dee-scope glare

And those lights in the skies

Well they blinded my eyes

And I knew this was no normal plane

I tell ya it's true

This could all happen to you

Better listen when you hear me sayi-i-i-i-in'

Cause I got beamed on a shiny spaceship

Where they put their probes

In your probeless places, where I won't say

Th'got my D-N-Ayyy

Thaaa tagged my ear with a spacey staper

Then they blipped my crown, zapped my brai-ay-ain

Oh, I know this, it sou-ow-ounds insan-n-ne

Well, then they left me there

In my long underwear

Covered - in alien spores

I made such a sight

All those ducks took to flight

And I made my way back to the shor-re

Hey, I told police

Raid'o and TV

They'all laughed for an hour but then

Well, I got a call

That ol' rag Enquirer (Enkw-hour)

s'puttin' my story to pe-e-en

Cause I got beamed on a shiny spaceship

Where they put their probes

In your probeless places, where I won't say

Th'got my D-N-Ayyy

Thaaa tagged my ear with a spacey staper

Then they blipped my crown, zapped my brai-ay-ain

Oh, I know this, it sou-ow-ounds insa-ane

Cause I got beamed on a shiny spaceship

Where they put their probes

In your probeless places, where I won't say

Th'got my D-N-Ayyy

Thaaa tagged my ear with a spacey staper

Then they blipped my crown, zapped my brai-ay-ain

Oh, I know this, it sou-ow-ounds insa-ane

Cause I got beamed on a shiny spaceship

Where they put their probes

In your probeless places, where I won't say

Th'got my D-N-Ayyy

Thaaa tagged my ear with a spacey staper

Then they blipped my crown, zapped my brai-ay-ain

Oh, I know this, it sou-ow-ounds insa-a-ane

Cause I got beamed on a shiny spaceship

Where they put their probes

In your probeless places…