Emoticon Selection Blues

"When You're Smiling" goes texting on too long.

When your smiley
When your smiley
Seems way, way too overused
When you’re scrolling
Oh, when you’re scrolling
Its sometimes so hard to choose

And when you're trying
Choosing is a pain
But keep on trying
Don't use something lame
     "Worried, mopey, dopey, corn?"
There's no denying
Its just that smiley
Is so way, way too overused

When emoji's
When emoji's are way, way too hard to choose
When your winkie
When your risky winkie
Seems a little too, "Did you just say what I think you said?"

I'm not lying, no, I'm not lying
Its the emoticon selection blues
So keep on trying
And find something new
     "Angry, crazy, lazy, corn?"
Keep on trying
'Cause it's that yellow smiley
That's so way, way too overused

There's no denying
Choosing is a pain
But keep on trying
Don't use something lame
     "Robot, barfy, monkey, corn?"
Keep on trying
And ditch that smiley
And choose that old brown pile of pooh

Its a smiley pile

Undertaker for the Vampire

This takes the Fratellis "Whistle for the Choir" coffin shopping.

Well it’s a mortuary, for a casket you came
I got your boxes to bury, hey Barry's my name
If you have the time
I'd like to show you one here, it is so divine
This beauty's no thin veneer, pure mahogany framed
Inside is scented with fine cedar, and it's ivory inlaid
Though a faux of course
I won’t support the poachers in the pachyderm trade

Something here throws me
Why are your teeth so all pointy
Oh you're a vampire, I know I heard of those
It's just like you, I mean your clothes
And don't speak, I think your dread fashion's so chic
This casket tweeds so fine, oh my, you've got to try
A casket this good is just irresistible

Though it's a mortuary, now I've figured it out
It's that comfort touch the feature what it's really about
And I must confess
This one's a TempurPedic and the rest's the best
When its four in the morning and the sun won't be long
It's time to catch a forty winker here, you'll never go wrong
Then you'll rest in peace
And wake up in the evening like the newly deceased

So if you're scary, I don't care, oh contrary
So you're a vampire, oh me, oh my, I jest
Why lips like yours could drink me dry
If only, it weren't for my garlic calzone
And it’s a crying shame if you would drain my veins
A guy like me is just irresistible

So if you're hungry, perhaps you might have a mint with me
So you're a vampire, I know blood-breath is gross
A tic-tac's a quick fix for those
And don't speak, I dig your vampire mystique
If you're free tonight we might go get a bite
A ghoul like you is just irresistible